How to Deal with a Difficult Boss as Explained by A Life Coach
A survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that nearly half of American workers reported experiencing interpersonal conflicts with their supervisors or coworkers. Additionally, data from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) indicates that claims of harassment, discrimination, and retaliation—many of which involve conflicts with supervisors—remain among the most frequently filed complaints with the agency. While it’s challenging to provide an exact figure, it’s clear that issues between employees and supervisors are widespread in the United States and can have significant implications for workplace productivity, morale, and overall well-being. Mason Farmani is an intuitive personal and corporate life coach, he provides tips on how to navigate a difficult boss or supervisor.
1. Maintain Professionalism: This means staying calm, composed, and respectful even in the face of difficult behavior from your boss. Avoid reacting impulsively or emotionally, as this can escalate the situation and potentially harm your professional reputation. Instead, focus on maintaining a positive attitude and a professional demeanor in all interactions with your boss, colleagues, and clients. Breathe before you react or if you find your anger or anxiety is starting to take over, see if you can excuse yourself for a few minutes and come back depending on the situation.
2. Understand Their Perspective: Take the time to consider what might be driving your boss’s behavior. Are they under a lot of pressure from upper management? Are there external factors affecting their mood or demeanor? By empathizing with your boss’s perspective, you may gain insights that help you navigate the situation more effectively and find ways to communicate with them more successfully. It’s proven that empathy can help us navigate difficult situations.
3. Communication is Key: Effective communication involves both expressing yourself clearly and actively listening to others and understanding their point of view. Sometimes, when we are triggered, we only hear a part of what is being said, repeat by saying: “I want to be clear about what you are telling me. Are you saying….?” When addressing concerns with your boss, choose your words carefully, and be specific about the behaviors or issues that are problematic. Use “I” statements to express how their behavior impacts you personally, rather than making accusatory statements. Additionally, be open to feedback and willing to collaborate on finding solutions that work for both of you.
4. Document Everything: Keeping a record of interactions with your boss can serve as a valuable resource if you need to address the issue formally with HR or higher management. Document dates, times, and details of any incidents, as well as any emails or other correspondence related to the matter. This documentation can help substantiate your claims and provide a clear timeline of events if further action becomes necessary.
5. Set Boundaries: Establishing boundaries with your boss is essential for maintaining your well-being and sanity in a difficult work environment. This might include setting limits on the amount of overtime you’re willing to work, specifying acceptable methods of communication, or defining areas of responsibility and authority. Communicate these boundaries clearly and kindly but assertively and be prepared to enforce them if necessary. The best time to set those boundaries and clarifications is usually at the beginning.
6. Focus on What You Can Control: While you may not be able to change your boss’s behavior, you can control how you respond to it. Focus on aspects of your work that you can influence, such as your own performance, attitude, and approach to problem-solving. By taking ownership of your actions and reactions, you can maintain a sense of agency and autonomy in a challenging situation.
7. Seek Support: Dealing with a difficult boss can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to have a support system in place. This might include trusted colleagues who can offer advice or perspective, mentors who can provide guidance, or friends and family members who can lend a sympathetic ear. If necessary, consider seeking professional support from a coach who has been in these situations and can help you navigate the emotional impact of the situation. Sometimes, it helps to inquire with the HR department. This will document the issue while receiving advice.
8. Practice Self-Care: When dealing with a difficult boss, it’s essential to prioritize self-care and maintain a healthy work-life balance. This might involve activities such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones outside of work or in nature. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being will help you stay resilient and better equipped to handle the challenges you face at work.
9. Explore Your Options: If the situation with your boss becomes untenable despite your efforts to address it, it may be necessary to explore alternative options. This could include transferring to a different department within the company, seeking employment elsewhere, or even starting your own business if you feel ready for such a step. Remember that your health and happiness are paramount, and it’s okay to prioritize them over loyalty to a difficult boss or toxic work environment. When you decide to leave, learn your lessons and work on letting go of the pains of working with an abusive boss.
Learn and Grow: Every challenge presents an opportunity for growth and personal development. Dealing with a difficult boss can teach you valuable lessons in resilience, communication, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence. Take the opportunity to reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience and how you can apply those lessons to future situations. Learn to look for and avoid bosses with those traits in the future by asking the right interview questions. By approaching these difficult situations with a growth mindset, you can turn a challenging experience into an opportunity for self-improvement and professional growth.